When a Galaxy Far, Far Away Got Pretty Weird.

Whether you’re excited to see the thrilling conclusion to Disney’s Star Wars trilogy or just happy it’s going to be over, there is one thing we can agree on, Star Wars can get really weird. Like REALLY WEIRD.  

Luckily for you, we’ve collated a short list of some of the weirdest we could find: good luck.

Star Wars Kabuki show (2019) 

Given the official title of: Star Wars Kabuki – Rennosuke Hikarigatana Sanbon or Star Wars Kabuki – Ren and the Three Lightsabers.

The most recent on this list, Star Wars the Kabuki Show happened in Tokyo, Japan on November 23rd 2019. It is said to feature key emotional moments from the Skywalker saga, you can imagine how much more intense these moments will be through the lens of the eclectic Kabuki theatre. The adaptation of Star Wars to Kabuki is another effort to shake off the old and stuffy reputation the artform has garnered over time. Other notable adaptations have been One Piece, Naruto and Nausicca of the Valley of the Wind. Read more about it here. 

Star Wars Holiday Special (1978) 

Now this is perhaps the best “so bad it’s good” piece of Star Wars media ever made; the Star Wars Holiday Special is one of the only projects publicly disowned by George Lucas. This will not be a surprise to you if you have been brave enough to give this two-hour 1970’s TV special a watch… Notable events within this cinematic gem include: 

  • A musical number by Bea Arthur (Golden Girls) 
  • Chewbacca’s extended family, who at no point have subtitles or speak a real language, resulting in minutes of people in fur suites yelling gibberish at each other
  • The late Carrie Fisher performing vocals over the iconic Star Wars theme
  • The first appearance of Boba Fett, within a French inspired cartoon
  • Yet another musical number, this time framed as Chewie’s dad watching some kind of VR music gig
  • A section featuring a robotic TV chef giving a tutorial
  • The introduction of ‘Life Day’ or “Space Christmas/ Hanukah/ whatever you feel like. 

 

Bea Arthur flexing her singing talents
Chewbacca’s extended family
Carrie Fisher having a good old sing song
Boba Fett
Robot Chef
Life Day is here

Something that might displease those who condemned Disney for having a scorched earth approach to previous extended cannon – The Holiday Special totally fits in the current cannon. For those who aren’t completely disgusted by what you’ve read, you can watch the full film on YouTube. Bon Appetit.  

Star Wars Yoda Stories, Game Boy Colour (1998) 

Presenting the “It’s 17:30 on a Friday” design approach

Receiving IGN’s lowest ever score on the system, (it’s true, read it here) I’m talking about Star Wars: Yoda Stories on Gameboy Colour. As much as this game is a complete none starter, one thing must be said in its favour, seeing Mos Eisley rendered in a top down view reminiscent of a JRPG is very endearing. I just wish that it could have given anyone a good time.  

Jaxxon (1977) 

It’s a beautiful thing

Hey Kids! Remember when your favourite space scoundrel Han Solo had a green alien rabbit friend who has pretty much Bucky O’Hare? YEAH, ME NEITHER. 

This, wonderful children, is Jaxxon, as featured in Marvels older run on Star Wars, so why does this exist? How did they let this happen? Simple, they just ran out of source material… 

In the grand pantheon of “Not Han Solos” Jaxxon unfortunately falls far behind the likes of Kyle Katarn and Kasian Andor, but does get a special mention for being, in fact, a giant green anthropomorphic rabbit. Read about him here.  

Beldorian the Hutt, Jedi Knight (1997) 

More things you didn’t want to know: Hutts are hermaphrodites.

The epic climax of possibly the worst piece of extended Star Wars media, Planet of Twilight (worse than the Holiday Special because if you have that on, eventually it’ll just end, you have to actively read this book) results in Princess Leia Organa having a lightsaber fuelled show down with an ex-jedi Hutt called Beldorian. Now, I’m no expert, but from what I know about slugs, is that more often than not, humans can out pace them. I can only imagine an adrenaline fuelled drag out brawl between a woman in her late 20’s and a giant slug will probably never make great reading.  

Something you know not here?

This is what we could dig up on wonderfully weird Star Wars content, but if theres something that you think is a total no-brainer that isn’t here – We want to know!

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